Till Death....

"Till Death Do Us Part?" I thought the dying came after the marriage not before.

This may be in poor taste but it must be said. With the Male:Female ratio in China being what it is, of course the authorities had to prevent this jilted bride from staining the sidewalk. China is in no position to let any uterus go to waste, especially ones it let survive.

Reality dictates that 10 years from now she may not remember the dude's name coz 10 other guys will have helped ease her pain. But one thing that will follow her forever is this video.

Why do women die to be married?

RED CLIFF

I just finished John Woo's RED CLIFF. Magnificent! Is it only me or are the movies from Asia rich with texture and color?

No matter the carnage, coz there always seems to be some epic battle going on in these flicks, you can't help but think, "Dang, is that brain matter!? But awww look at how green and vibrant the background is. Why I can just see myself wadding through that serene lake betwix the lush mountains and pristine waterfall."

If your mind is not stuck on laziness, since all these movies are subtitled, please take a minute to view some of Asia's great masterpieces "Raise the Red Lantern", "Curse of the Golden Lotus", "Red Cliff", "Hero", "House of Flying Daggers", "The Legend".

And if you don't mind jetting across the globe, please do give some of these Latin American/Spanish films a try. You will not be disappointed. I will solidify my pretentiousness by listing them in Spanish. Hey, you learned something today. "Nueve Reinas", "En La Cama", "El Secreto de Sus Ojos", "El Laberinto Del Fauno", "El Orfanato", "Biutiful", "Y Tu Mama Tambien", "Diarios de Motocicleta", "Amores Perro", El Crimen del Padre Amaro", "Che" and "El Aura" just to mention a few.

POLA X Y?

Have you ever watched a movie that left you so confused the only thing you could do after was take a bath? Some movies are nothing more than cinematic masturbation, just a director going at it! That is a great visual description of Pola X. Y? I laugh that you ask.

But feel free to watch it and prove me wrong. I should warn you however that you'll have to sit through 134 minutes of subtitles, bizarre characters and unshaved vaginas. Guys, trust me, there are not worth it.