READ THE INSANE LINK FIRST:
http://www.bmei.org/jbem/volume5/num3/mccolley_a_response_to_baby_making.pdf
MY RESPONSE TO THIS SHENANIGANS?
I did not even finish reading this mess!
Look, wayyyy back in the day marriage consisted of the scrotum holder's father sending out a slave, probably a negro thanks to Noah, to the village of a distant relative for the sole purpose of procuring a wife for his son. Upon arrival, whichever uterine bearer got to the well first and offered the goggling stranger a drink of water and some for his camel was gathered off to meet the man she would marry. Upon arrival at future home, eyes would lock and the intended scrotum holder would whisk, the now betrothed uterine bearer away to his tent made of camel hide and proceed to awkwardly maneuver his penis into her vagina until he had successfully slayed the hymen. The said uterine bearer would never be referred to again unless she did something un-biblical like say I don't know, throw sheep's wool over the shoulder of her younger son so he could get his father's blessing, a blessing that was intended for her older Esau.
Fast forward to now, most fathers are either physically or emotionally absent meaning no one is sending out the negro, meaning no uterine bearer is at the well, in fact, a uterine bearer can't find the damn well since Haliburton done paved over the damn thing with the uterine bearer's taxes and erected a shopping mall instead. Since there is no well, all the camels are dead and the negro is riding a beat up 64 that the uterine bearer will not look at twice. Furthermore, upon arrival, the negro might want to mount the uterine bearer himself and thus defiling her, making her unworthy for the master's son. Meaning, the scrotum holder has to adjust to the uterine bearer absence by buying dolls with open mouths or memberships to naked lady sites, and the uterine bearer has to freeze her eggs coz she doesn't know when the tube of vaseline will run out so the scrotum holder can come out and fertilizer them. That is the reality of today.
So freeze them eggs uterine bearer coz the scrotum holder might have an extra tube of vaseline ready and waiting. And the only people allowed to comment on your decision are those who actively participated in your fruitless search to find a mate.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A Revelation on The Book of Revelation
Holy Rollers often shake with orgasmic- opps- rapture like anticipation, while heathens piss their pants in fear at the mere mention of The Book of Revelation. All this in response to the content of this book which most perceive as a post-it on things to come and few as the doodling of a psychotic. But I have come to look at this book for an entirely new perspective. A perspective largely based on its placing in the bible.
When one reads, looks, browses or hears Biblical content one realizes pretty much after the Garden of Eden debacle, that Parental disappointment and offspring redemption are a foot. The Hebrews and/or mankind are doomed to spend the length of the remaining 65 3/4 books trying to make Dad proud of them/us again. This is clearly a case of art imitating life for anyone from a dysfunctional family where children are forever trying to win parental approval.
In the Bible, the Hebrews wade through the Red Sea after spending centuries as slaves in Egypt only to be smote on Mt. Sinai for worshipping a calf. They then proceed to wander aimlessly in the desert for forty years only to meet the Philistines en-route to the promised land. From Judges to Malachi it is an endless tale of destruction, battles, curses and divine disappointment. After years of just being human and failed attempts at quelling the daddy complex hope springs eternal with the New Testament Gospel's presentation of the great liberator, the Christ, who is swiftly crucified because of a misunderstanding of the Messiah’s job description. Off we head into the Acts of the Apostles where martyrs and massacres by deranged Cesar abound. Let me stop here and bust your Anti-Christ bubble with this fact: Based on the alphanumeric nature of ancient languages 666 is not numbers but letters to a name. And it spells the name Cesar Nero. So to all the Adolf Hitler or Ronald Regan or Barack Obama accusers, you are all wrong.
Moving on. So, we are created, we sin, some of us are smooted, the rest sent away to wander the desert where they are dispersed into the four corners of the wind, crying as they march from their ancestral homelands into a life of subjugation by the Romans, only to have their hope dashed when the much prophesied Messiah shows up and refuse to fight. He leaves behind some words of wisdom as he floats up in a cloud only to return long enough to blind one of their most dedicated persecutors who ends up being the most prolific of the bible Dos and Don’ts writers. And just so you do not forget the seriousness of the human fall laid out in the 65 books or the need for redemption or the importance of the Messiah’s sacrifice, the book ends with a warning -The Book Of Revelation aka "If you dare trivialize the importance of getting Daddy’s favor or the sacrifice of His son you will be eternally smote in a lake of burning lava, so GET TO GENUFLECTING!!!" {Genuflect – to lower one’s body briefly by bending one knee to the ground, typically in worship or as a sign of respect e.g. she genuflected and crossed herself. There is a double-entendre if I ever saw one. (Double-entendre – a word or phrase open to two interpretations, one which is usually risqué or indecent)}.
Why has no one ever asked this one question - Why is The Book of Revelation the last book? I mean, that is a seriously loaded question which opens up the veritable Pandora's box (not the planet in Avatar, that was a good place, a special place). If you look at if from that perspective you realize that the Book Of Revelation is not a period at the end of this longwinded sentence but a bold exclamation mark. Its contents scare you into believing everything you have just read and forces you to take the preceding pages VERY seriously. If you fail to see this, you fail to see the entire genius of this book. The placing of The Book of Revelation at the end of the bible is proof it is a collection of writings designed by man to control man because it plays on man’s psyche perfectly.
There is no difference between this book and say an African folktale or a threatening email chain. They all leave the profound, “if you don’t do this then this terrible thing will happen to you” consequential message for the end. If you do not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and be in right standing with God the Father you will still have your clothes on at the rapture. Yes, you will not be one of the lucky, naked few floating past the earth’s exosphere with their particulars chilling (double entendre) in the wind. You, my dear, will be left behind to gnash your teeth and contend with the Anti-Christ for 100 years and if you succeed, Jesus just might recognize you at heaven’s gates. Of course if you are a Jehovah’s Witness you are buying into an even more confusing tale seeing as only 144,000 will make it into heaven. The remaining 6,856,000? They will be stroking baby lions in the new earth. I won’t even touch the Mormons. Coming to think of it, until the 1978 they wouldn’t have touched me either.
When one reads, looks, browses or hears Biblical content one realizes pretty much after the Garden of Eden debacle, that Parental disappointment and offspring redemption are a foot. The Hebrews and/or mankind are doomed to spend the length of the remaining 65 3/4 books trying to make Dad proud of them/us again. This is clearly a case of art imitating life for anyone from a dysfunctional family where children are forever trying to win parental approval.
In the Bible, the Hebrews wade through the Red Sea after spending centuries as slaves in Egypt only to be smote on Mt. Sinai for worshipping a calf. They then proceed to wander aimlessly in the desert for forty years only to meet the Philistines en-route to the promised land. From Judges to Malachi it is an endless tale of destruction, battles, curses and divine disappointment. After years of just being human and failed attempts at quelling the daddy complex hope springs eternal with the New Testament Gospel's presentation of the great liberator, the Christ, who is swiftly crucified because of a misunderstanding of the Messiah’s job description. Off we head into the Acts of the Apostles where martyrs and massacres by deranged Cesar abound. Let me stop here and bust your Anti-Christ bubble with this fact: Based on the alphanumeric nature of ancient languages 666 is not numbers but letters to a name. And it spells the name Cesar Nero. So to all the Adolf Hitler or Ronald Regan or Barack Obama accusers, you are all wrong.
Moving on. So, we are created, we sin, some of us are smooted, the rest sent away to wander the desert where they are dispersed into the four corners of the wind, crying as they march from their ancestral homelands into a life of subjugation by the Romans, only to have their hope dashed when the much prophesied Messiah shows up and refuse to fight. He leaves behind some words of wisdom as he floats up in a cloud only to return long enough to blind one of their most dedicated persecutors who ends up being the most prolific of the bible Dos and Don’ts writers. And just so you do not forget the seriousness of the human fall laid out in the 65 books or the need for redemption or the importance of the Messiah’s sacrifice, the book ends with a warning -The Book Of Revelation aka "If you dare trivialize the importance of getting Daddy’s favor or the sacrifice of His son you will be eternally smote in a lake of burning lava, so GET TO GENUFLECTING!!!" {Genuflect – to lower one’s body briefly by bending one knee to the ground, typically in worship or as a sign of respect e.g. she genuflected and crossed herself. There is a double-entendre if I ever saw one. (Double-entendre – a word or phrase open to two interpretations, one which is usually risqué or indecent)}.
Why has no one ever asked this one question - Why is The Book of Revelation the last book? I mean, that is a seriously loaded question which opens up the veritable Pandora's box (not the planet in Avatar, that was a good place, a special place). If you look at if from that perspective you realize that the Book Of Revelation is not a period at the end of this longwinded sentence but a bold exclamation mark. Its contents scare you into believing everything you have just read and forces you to take the preceding pages VERY seriously. If you fail to see this, you fail to see the entire genius of this book. The placing of The Book of Revelation at the end of the bible is proof it is a collection of writings designed by man to control man because it plays on man’s psyche perfectly.
There is no difference between this book and say an African folktale or a threatening email chain. They all leave the profound, “if you don’t do this then this terrible thing will happen to you” consequential message for the end. If you do not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and be in right standing with God the Father you will still have your clothes on at the rapture. Yes, you will not be one of the lucky, naked few floating past the earth’s exosphere with their particulars chilling (double entendre) in the wind. You, my dear, will be left behind to gnash your teeth and contend with the Anti-Christ for 100 years and if you succeed, Jesus just might recognize you at heaven’s gates. Of course if you are a Jehovah’s Witness you are buying into an even more confusing tale seeing as only 144,000 will make it into heaven. The remaining 6,856,000? They will be stroking baby lions in the new earth. I won’t even touch the Mormons. Coming to think of it, until the 1978 they wouldn’t have touched me either.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
AVATAR: Happily Ever After...hmmmm maybe not.
Sitting at a desk on a TV lot waiting for the rest of my life to catch up I reached over for the Daily Variety to alleviate my boredom. On the front cover was a picture from the movie Avatar with Jake’s Avatar riding a banshee while holding a serious looking machine-gun. This picture is worth a thousand words. In its simplicity, it depicts the future of the Navi people.
Almost three hours into the film the humans are deported off the planet but did anyone notice them leaving with their equipment? No, meaning those materials have been left behind. This billion dollar tale more than celebrates the love of nature over material it also brings to light the age old predicament faced by indigenous people the world over, the introduction of violent modern technology into their “backward” world. But weapons are not all that was left behind, the invasion and threat posed by the humans also unleashed a new level of rage among the indigenous Navi people. So now the indigenous population is not only pissed off but they also have access to deadlier weapons of precise destruction.
It is undeniable that something inevitable happens to the indigenous person when their way of live is threatened. Their desire to survive is awakened. And since their way is often violently threatened by those who are technologically superior, the indigenous have to quickly learn their enemy’s art of war in order to maintain their way of life. Their response too must be violent. In that one act, that one response to aggression, they regress into the very thing they fight.
So tell me, once the invaders leave how will the indigenous curb this new level of rage secreted within their soul or fight the temptation to use these new weapons if threaten again? Does having the marine fall in love with the Princess while fucking the tribe seem like a viable solution? Not for the tribe, they are still fucked, and only the Princess and Marines are enjoying it. See, transforming the “civilized marine” into the way of the “uncivilized Navi” elevates the marine by subduing his need for aggression. But by exposing the Navi to the ways of the marine, in some ways you have relegated the Navi by creating a wound of regression.
Once the credits roll, we need to think beyond the victory of the Navi. We need to ponder what conquering indigenous, “backward” peoples with technologically advanced weapons means to the human species? A look back at our history will provide the answers. What did the introduction of guns mean to the indigenous peoples of Africa? In summary, an increase in the slave trade, colonialism, brutal long civil wars, dictatorships, rapes, famine, death and destruction etc. What did they mean to the Native peoples of the Americas? If you can find one, ask them for me.
It is easy to romanticize or long for Pandora, easy to celebrate the Navi prior to the battle, but will the Navi and Pandora ever be the same after its encounter with humans? Does the realization that there are those who wish to destroy the tranquility they hold dear make the Navi more suspicious, less welcoming and thereby less Navi? Isn’t that the transformation that took place in the hearts of the Native peoples of the Americas? An Indigenous person, no matter how noble a savage, is eventually transformed by the forces that cross his/her path. In the case of the Navi, the forces were violent and materialistic. After the loss they suffered and the weapons they learned to use, the Navi will forever be struggling with the more violent nature awoken in them.
So, for those people out there contemplating suicide because Pandora is unattainable, all I can say is if you are a “civilized mind”, you make Pandora unattainable.
Almost three hours into the film the humans are deported off the planet but did anyone notice them leaving with their equipment? No, meaning those materials have been left behind. This billion dollar tale more than celebrates the love of nature over material it also brings to light the age old predicament faced by indigenous people the world over, the introduction of violent modern technology into their “backward” world. But weapons are not all that was left behind, the invasion and threat posed by the humans also unleashed a new level of rage among the indigenous Navi people. So now the indigenous population is not only pissed off but they also have access to deadlier weapons of precise destruction.
It is undeniable that something inevitable happens to the indigenous person when their way of live is threatened. Their desire to survive is awakened. And since their way is often violently threatened by those who are technologically superior, the indigenous have to quickly learn their enemy’s art of war in order to maintain their way of life. Their response too must be violent. In that one act, that one response to aggression, they regress into the very thing they fight.
So tell me, once the invaders leave how will the indigenous curb this new level of rage secreted within their soul or fight the temptation to use these new weapons if threaten again? Does having the marine fall in love with the Princess while fucking the tribe seem like a viable solution? Not for the tribe, they are still fucked, and only the Princess and Marines are enjoying it. See, transforming the “civilized marine” into the way of the “uncivilized Navi” elevates the marine by subduing his need for aggression. But by exposing the Navi to the ways of the marine, in some ways you have relegated the Navi by creating a wound of regression.
Once the credits roll, we need to think beyond the victory of the Navi. We need to ponder what conquering indigenous, “backward” peoples with technologically advanced weapons means to the human species? A look back at our history will provide the answers. What did the introduction of guns mean to the indigenous peoples of Africa? In summary, an increase in the slave trade, colonialism, brutal long civil wars, dictatorships, rapes, famine, death and destruction etc. What did they mean to the Native peoples of the Americas? If you can find one, ask them for me.
It is easy to romanticize or long for Pandora, easy to celebrate the Navi prior to the battle, but will the Navi and Pandora ever be the same after its encounter with humans? Does the realization that there are those who wish to destroy the tranquility they hold dear make the Navi more suspicious, less welcoming and thereby less Navi? Isn’t that the transformation that took place in the hearts of the Native peoples of the Americas? An Indigenous person, no matter how noble a savage, is eventually transformed by the forces that cross his/her path. In the case of the Navi, the forces were violent and materialistic. After the loss they suffered and the weapons they learned to use, the Navi will forever be struggling with the more violent nature awoken in them.
So, for those people out there contemplating suicide because Pandora is unattainable, all I can say is if you are a “civilized mind”, you make Pandora unattainable.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Sex and the City - a backhanded assault
So I find myself meditating on the phenomenon that is Sex and the City. Whereas I love the Carrie Bradshaw character I feel women are too carried away by the adorable charm that drapes perfectly over her proliferating idiocy. Why, after almost a decade of its existence do I choose now to comment on this slice of Americana? Because I am bored and boredom stimulates my need-to-offer a critique on popular culture.
I will admit to being a fan of the "sisterhood" idea that the show promotes, even though it is widely known that women are their own worst enemies. But what I am not a fan of is these women's misperceptions, interactions and expectations of themselves in relationship to men. Their lack of self-esteem is so thinly camouflaged with success, fashion or sex and their low sense of self-worth is best exemplified in Carrie's choice of a suitable mate. The very idea that a Mr. Big is worth more than an Aidan paints this woman with a "sand castle in the sky" hue. In this Carrie reality women are prone to putting emotion over reason and cents over common sense.
But by far the most damaging effect of this poor assessment of the female psyche is Carrie’s depiction of that age old belief that if a woman loves a bad boy long enough she can "CHANGE" him. It may take ten years, make you the “other woman” and cost you the love of a better man but it is more important to “CONQUER” the one that got away than being with the one who loves you. [When I speak of love I speak of acts not feelings.]
You want to know why good guys finish last? Coz this is what good girls are watching. I hope that the female's self perception is not too coloured but what straight men "want" from women or how gay men "see" women?
I will admit to being a fan of the "sisterhood" idea that the show promotes, even though it is widely known that women are their own worst enemies. But what I am not a fan of is these women's misperceptions, interactions and expectations of themselves in relationship to men. Their lack of self-esteem is so thinly camouflaged with success, fashion or sex and their low sense of self-worth is best exemplified in Carrie's choice of a suitable mate. The very idea that a Mr. Big is worth more than an Aidan paints this woman with a "sand castle in the sky" hue. In this Carrie reality women are prone to putting emotion over reason and cents over common sense.
But by far the most damaging effect of this poor assessment of the female psyche is Carrie’s depiction of that age old belief that if a woman loves a bad boy long enough she can "CHANGE" him. It may take ten years, make you the “other woman” and cost you the love of a better man but it is more important to “CONQUER” the one that got away than being with the one who loves you. [When I speak of love I speak of acts not feelings.]
You want to know why good guys finish last? Coz this is what good girls are watching. I hope that the female's self perception is not too coloured but what straight men "want" from women or how gay men "see" women?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Inevitable Expression of Human Duality
There is a syndrome rampant in modern America that is slowly spreading throughout Christiandom, the deification of men. Too often an athlete, entertainer or political figure exuding excellence in their field finds himself augmented to the post of a demi-god where all perfection is expected and all imperfections, part of the nature and character of man, dejected. The elevators erase from the demi-god any and all traces of "fault", thereby denying the demi-god permission to their own humanness. Instead of embracing the dual wholeness of one-self, the demi-god either feels shame from autophobia or arrogance from narcissism.
But what must be understood is that man's true character cannot be denied and will find a way to express the duality of its nature. Virtues will be expressed and vices will fight repression. Sooner of later the demons hidden behind the thin veil of perfection, in the presence of ample temptation, will be illuminated. All that will be needed is the right catalyst to bring about the diametric opposite of the celebrated virtuous one.
This is the story of Tiger Woods and all others who have been judged before and after him. No man is perfect. All men must be allowed to express the entire spectrum of their humanness. Thanks to Pandora or Eve, women seem to garner more interesting responses when their "wickedness" surfaces. In some cases her downfall augments her sex appeal. In others, she becomes the damsel in need of rescue, judged harshly only by those who do not understand the "fragile" nature of the weaker sex. This too is laughable and a slight to the beauty in the duality of human nature.
But what must be understood is that man's true character cannot be denied and will find a way to express the duality of its nature. Virtues will be expressed and vices will fight repression. Sooner of later the demons hidden behind the thin veil of perfection, in the presence of ample temptation, will be illuminated. All that will be needed is the right catalyst to bring about the diametric opposite of the celebrated virtuous one.
This is the story of Tiger Woods and all others who have been judged before and after him. No man is perfect. All men must be allowed to express the entire spectrum of their humanness. Thanks to Pandora or Eve, women seem to garner more interesting responses when their "wickedness" surfaces. In some cases her downfall augments her sex appeal. In others, she becomes the damsel in need of rescue, judged harshly only by those who do not understand the "fragile" nature of the weaker sex. This too is laughable and a slight to the beauty in the duality of human nature.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
RAP
Race - why doesn't anyone bother to ask why we use the word “race” to identify humans when the term basically connotes competition?
American Dream - why “dream” when the very word conjures the unattainable? I dream that I float through space sans space suit but the law of gravity and my need of oxygen let me know that will never happen.
Political Correctness - isn’t this nothing more than politically endorsed, self-censorship and thereby a violation of the First Amendment?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Scramble for my uterus!
I must admit that last night I was dumbfounded when I realized that there is a scramble for my uterus. Here I was going through life minding my own business when suddenly I found myself bombarded by members of the opposite gender looking to settle down and whip out a couple or two from my uterus.
Unbeknowst to them and myself, something was churning inside me and changing my entire perspective and outlook on this thing called matrimony. Since my last blog, I am still unsure as to why people get married and I find my heart straying from that sort of ideal. What's even more haunting is I find myself withdrawing from the thought of bursting my uterus open to bring forth offsprings into this beautiful planet of ours.
What happened to me? I woke up and realized that I have something worthwhile. So to all the women out there, please, understand that you have been given the power to bring forth life. Do not take that lightly or think that owning a puppy is a test run. It was a serious jolt to my lowering self-esteem when it dawned on me that I am the cradle wherein my offspring will lie. That is a thing of honor.
I am not advocating that one be a recluse, I'm certainly not. What I am saying is do not allow yourself to be guilted into a relationship. Don't let your Mama do it, don't let Daddy do it. Don't listen to big sis coz when your heart gets broken she's the first one to say "I never liked him away". And please, DO NOT listen to your biological clock. Take that bitch to the clockmaker and kick back with a margarita.
Fear
I fear no man
Your threatening words are but sounds that history will forget
Your harsh blows against my skin will be erased with age
Even the bones broken within will mend with time
That which I fear goes deeper than any man can touch
For I only fear my own capacity to incapacitate myself
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