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Africans versus African Americans: Healing the sibling rivalry

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Illegal Immigration as American as Apple Pie?

So, I got to thinking about illegal immigration and racism and arrived at a very logical conclusion. Illegal immigration is as American as Apple Pie! The first coyote, English at least, was clearly Sir. Richard Grenville and the first illegal immigrant was the first passenger to disembark from either the Tiger, the Red Lion, the Roebuck, the Elizabeth or the Dorothy. Sure the need to maximize productivity ushered in the use of planes, trains and automobiles and increased the volume of humans smuggled, but the idea itself is ingrained in the nation's history.

Then comes racism, which really got entrenched in American culture during the age of indentured servitude and slavery. In a calculated attempt to stay any potential revolt from the underclass, the wealthy minority gave limited "power" to the indentured whites by having them monitor and punish the enslaved blacks. A trick that is nothing more than handing a carrot to a donkey before jumping on its back. This tactic of divide and conqueror is as old as mankind. Shoot, these days kids use it on their parents!

RAP

If you can't see that fighting over racial differences is keeping us all oppressed you are blind. If you think the founding fathers fought so every American could have a dream house encircled by a white picket fence containing 2.5 kids, 2 cars in the garage and a dog named Spot you are an idiot. And if you miss the fact that Political Correctness is nothing more than self-censorship you need to be censored.

Strange Bedfellows

Is the Republican party fucking you over? Yes. Is the Tea party threatening to tea bag? Yes. Is the Democratic party just laying down and taking it? Yes, oh yes!

*sigh* African Stereotypes Ahead...oh dear

DESTINATION PARADISO



So this past month or so, my beloved and I took a trip to Paradise, aka MAUI. I have to say it is truly the most beautiful destination in the US. Did you know that there are NO snakes in Hawaii, just Coqui frogs singing at 80-90 decibels every night? Those who have migrated to Hawaii are petitioning the State to wipe the frogs out because these amphibians are not indigenous to the Island and therefore dangerous to the ecosystem. HAHAHAHA! Look at the pot calling the kettle black.

BLACK IS BEAUTIFUL



Speaking of black, Maui boasts one of the most beautiful features of any coastline, BLACK SAND BEACHES. Hawaii is also known for some RED sand beaches, but you know what they say..."once you go black everything else sucks!" Now, I will admit that unlike regular white or brown sand, the black sand situation is a tad more -- um rough, coarse nah too racist, conjures up images of violence, bad language and nappy hair --- a tad more prickly!

SOFT LANDING



But I couldn't complain coz after every piercing moment on the sand, came a soft landing in this cute little love shack atop the hill, where we spent the nights listening to the geckos chatting amongst themselves and with us. Apparently geckos confirm a true human statement by making whatever sound it is they make. Not sure I believe that but the locals do and that is good enough for me.

HEAVEN AND EARTH COLLIDE



That and the fact that heaven would come down everyday and kiss the earth. It took everything in me not to give in to a life of spiritual wanderings in the jungles of Hawaii with a seldom cleaned booty. Being an African, all this sort of wilderness living spoke to me, it was calling me. And some times it was not easy to fight the urge, especially when I encountered stuff like this.

TRIPPIN' ON THE VINE



Now tell me you didn't wonder whether you could swing off it? Maybe you didn't, but I sure as hell did. The wild and untamed gene in me wanted recognition, satisfaction. It became cocky, turning to the non-Africans with a grand proclamation, "I bet you I can swing off this." They laughed and dismissed me. DISMISSED THE CHANCE TO WITNESS A PURELY WILD EXPERIENCE! This Africana diva was not going to be denied.


TARZANA



So let me be the first to say "Shia, you get my respect dude!" Swinging off these vines is not an easy fete...for real. There was a whole lot of blood, sweat and chaffing with no productive swinging motion to show for it. I cried like a baby. No adult should be allowed to endure such pain. Maybe I was top heavy, maybe this Africana is too westernized, I don't know. What I do know is that I did not have the core strength to pull it off, an admission that demoralized me. I had to redeem myself somehow.


TREE HUGGER

But alas, it was time to return to Los Angeles. And after searching extensively for ways to redeem my lost African pride, all I could come up with was this wicked stunt!


Hey, what do you expect, it's LA!!!

CONDOMS OR LOLLIPOPS

COLORFUL PLEASURE

Are these condoms of lollipops?

It is dangerous when you can't tell the difference. This certainly makes a sexual predator's work a whole lot easier. Talk about two birds with one stone. Argh!


THE DANGERS OF SHORT SIGHTED MARKETING

Really, there is no need for lollipop-like condoms unless the expected sexual participants are under the age of 18. And if that is the case, one better call 911 or Child Services. They are NOT cute, if anything, they are very disturbing.

Till Death....

"Till Death Do Us Part?" I thought the dying came after the marriage not before.

This may be in poor taste but it must be said. With the Male:Female ratio in China being what it is, of course the authorities had to prevent this jilted bride from staining the sidewalk. China is in no position to let any uterus go to waste, especially ones it let survive.

Reality dictates that 10 years from now she may not remember the dude's name coz 10 other guys will have helped ease her pain. But one thing that will follow her forever is this video.

Why do women die to be married?